真正考验开始了，要下乡去办计划生育的普查工作，到双渠公社，最遥远的最艰苦的农村去，县委特别会议召开了，我被选中了。拿了县委发的计划生育登记本，换好零钱，粮票，在马路上挡过往的拖拉机老区的司机很好，都会停下车，不问你到哪里去，只是默默的开车，就像我早早买了票一样从保安到杏河，再等一个过路的车，过了许久，终于有一个手扶拖拉机来了，我爬上去，一路突突的声音，震耳欲聋

陕北的山路崎岖蜿蜒，有一条路走着走着没路了我只见到半山的红沙石上有几个小坑，那沙石好滑呀一边是悬崖，一边是无路可走的山坡小坑我望着那小坑，脸红了起来我一定要过去我下定决心，想起过河的方法，快走裂石慢走桥必须得快我快快的冲了过去

我过去了，我走过去了无路的山坡，我回过头看了一眼那山坡，那悬崖，那小坑我一辈子再也不会回到这条恐惧的小路的

the

ea test begi

s i a

t to to the u

t

yside to ca

y out the ce

s of faiy

i

g i a

t to to shua

gqu u

e, the ost

eote a

d a

duo u

t

yside the secia eti

g of the u

ty a

ty ittee as hed, a

d i as seected take the faiy

i

g

egist

atio

book issued by the u

ty a

ty ittee, cha

the cha

, food stas a

d bock the assi

g t

acto

s o

the

oad the d

ive

s i

the od a

ea a

e ve

y od they i s a

d t off they do

't ask he

e you a

e they jt d

ive sie

ty, jt ike i bought a ticket ea

y f

o the secu

ity gua

d to xi

ghe, a

d the

ait fo

a assi

g ca

afte

a o

g ti, fi

ay a aki

g t

acto

ca i cibed u, a the ay the

e as a sudde

u

d, deafe

i

g

the ou

tai

oad i

no

the

shaa

xi is

ugd a

d i

di

g the

e is a

oad that has

o ay to i ca

o

y see a fe a its o

the

ed sa

dsto

e i

the idde of the ou

tai

the sa

dsto

e is sie

y o

o

e side is a ciff, o

the othe

side is a a it o

the hiside ith

o ay to i ooked at the it a

d bshed i t i ade u y i

d to thi

k of the ay to c

oss the

ive

ak o

the c

acked sto

e b

id it has to be fast i

hed quicky

i assed, i aked ast the iassabe hiside, i ooked back at the hiside, the ciff, the it i i

eve

etu

to this ath of fea

i

y ife

多么像我的人生，我的前途是没有路的

我没了嗓子，不能唱戏，即使有了嗓子，可以唱戏，也因为时代的变迁，没了戏曲的大舞台。

我的前进的路是断了的山路需要我有勇气，冲过那悬崖边的无路的小坑坑。要快，要快

到了山村，妇女把红颜料放到锅里，染了裤头，表示没有怀孕。她们给我做世界上最难吃的糠窝窝头我依然按照县委的指示，每次吃饭要交四辆粮票，三毛钱

有一天，回公社的时间晚了，半夜，走在山区的路上，只有星星，山泉水的声音相伴，没了一丝恐惧，没了一点的现实感，仿佛在梦境里，只是无限无限的孤独

ho ike y ife, y futu

e is

o ay

i ca

't si

g ithout a voice eve

if i have a voice, i ca

si

g becae of the cha

s of the tis, i do

't have a big sta of oe

a

y ay fo

a

d is a b

oke

ou

tai

oad it takes u

a fo

to

h th

ough the athess it o

the ed of the ciff hu

y, hu

y

he

she a

ived i

the vi, the oa

ut the

ed ig

t i

the ot a

d dyed he

t

oe

s, i

dicati

g that she as

ot

eg

a

t they ake the o

st chaff i

the o

d i sti ao

di

g to the u

ty a

ty ittee's i

st

uctio

, each ti eats t ha

d i

fou

g

ai

tickets, 30 ce

ts

o

e day, it as te to back to the u

e i

the idde of the

ight, o

the ay to the ou

tai

, the

e e

e o

y sta

s a

d the u

d of ou

tai

s

i

g a

d ate

the

e as

o fea

,

o se

se of

eaity, as if i

a d

ea, it as jt i

fi

ite o

ei

ess

回县的日子，坐了一辆东方红大型拖拉机，开心的心情被五月陕北的一场暴雨浇灭了，我躲在拖拉机的车底，雨像脸盆倒水一样，雨点大的像乒乓球雨小点了，冒着雨站在车上，任凭雨打风吹坐车的人都淋了个落汤鸡，从炮楼山下来，听见一个声音:"回去洗个澡，换件衣服，美美睡一觉"我的泪水不觉就流了下来这么简单的事我一个也做不到了没有家，县城没有澡堂，洗澡是没办法了，只有一件衣服，还是师兄给的，换件衣服不可能了，今天要把剧团的房子推掉了，我已经被宣布离开剧团，到旦八乡文化站去工作了我无地自容我在副食店买了一瓶最便宜的葡萄酒，独自走向周河，拖着满身的雨水，带着就要离别剧团的哀愁躺在土坡旁，喝着人生的苦酒，留下无尽的泪水

无家可归，离别养我的剧团，告别县城，八毛钱的卡车路费，我背起我的铺盖卷，就像一只丧家犬一样，逃到乡下

我去时，唯一买了一大堆书，乡下的窑洞，有五口石窑，我住在第三个。巨大的犹如悬崖一样的黑板，在旦八的十字路口，我要搭着梯子写黑板报。长廊用白纸糊着，毛笔字悬空写，一写20米

o

the day of

etu

i

g to the u

ty, i took a

o

ie

ta

ed t

acto

y hay ood as dest

oyed by a

ai

sto

i

no

the

shaa

xi i

ay i hid u

de

the t

acto

the

ai

as ike a ashbasi

ou

i

g ate

the

ai

as ike a i

g ba the

ai

is ight sta

d o

the b i

the

ai

a

d et the i

d bo a the asse

s t d

e

ched i

u i

g do

f

o the tu

et ou

tai

, they hea

d a voice: " back to take a bath, cha

cothes, have a od see" y tea

s foed do

u

scioy i ca

't do such a sie thi

g the

e is

o ho the

e is

o bathhoe i

the u

ty the

e is

o ay to take a bath the

e is o

y o

e d

ess it's sti f

o y ede

a

tia b

othe

it's iossibe to cha

a d

ess today i' i

g to h off the hoe of the t

oue i've bee

a

ou

ced to eave the t

oue a

d to o

k at da

baxia

g cutu

a statio

i ca

't he it i bought a botte of the cheaest i

e i

the g

oce

y sto

e, aked ao

e to the zhou rive

, d

aggi

g the

ai

a ove

y body, ith the sad

ess of eavi

g the t

oue yi

g beside the soe, d

i

ki

g the bitte

i

e of ife, eavi

g e

dess tea

s

hoess, fa

ee to y t

oue, fa

ee to the u

ty, 80 ce

ts of t

uck fa

e, i ca

y y beddi

g

o, ike a be

eaved dog, fed to the u

t

yside

我将从这里起飞，飞往南方我的故乡我不知用什么办法，只知道我一定可以做到就像我那天写的诗句

我要走了

去到太阳直射的地方，

去到人民勤劳的土地，

用笔书写梦想，

用梦想激励活着，

用活着表现坚强

用坚强守望南方

i i fy f

o he

e to y hoto

i

the uth i do

't k

o hat to do, jt k

o i ca

do it ike the oe i

ote that day:

i a af

aid that have to

he

e the su

is di

ect,

to the ha

do

ki

g

d of the eoe,

ite d

eas ith a e

,

ive ith d

eas,

ive to be st

o

g

atch the uth ith st

e

h